Catanduanes Forum

DIYOS MABALOS

...WE ALMOST GOT EVERYTHING, BUT.. WHERE IS THE RICE?..
ANO NA NAGYARI SA MGA UMA TA ,MGA PALAYAN..PURO NA SUBDIVISION...MAYO NA KITA NING BAGAS!YAN BARAY TA IGWA NA NING MGA TATLONG COMPUTER,GABOS NA KASANGKAPAN NI MISIS... AY INDA PAGKAMINAHAR NA NIN BAGAS..ANO DAW DAVE YAN GIGIBOHON TA? MAE NA AKO MAA ARADO TA PIGA GIBO NA NIN BARAYAN YAN MGA UMA SA HIGAD NIN BANWAAN.,,HURAT HA TA NAKATUPAS YO KARBAW KO.......SIGE NA NGONA.

DIYOS MABALOS!Eddie Gil: Ewan ko nga kung saan ito nabili ni Misis. May isang pares pa ako na ganito sa bahay.

Eddie Gil shows a map of the Philippines to a genie and wishes that all the islands be connected by fly-overs

Genie: I'm not that good. Make another wish!
Eddie Gil: Okay. Make me intelligent!
Genie: Can i see the map again?

Eddie Gil calling a hotel receptionist.

Eddie Gil: Paano ako makakalabas dito sa kuwarto ko?
Receptionist: Bakit po sir, ano pong problema sa mga pinto?
Eddie Gil: Dalawa lang ang pinto. Ang isa pag bukas ko banyo. 'Yung isa naman may nakasabit na "do not disturb"

Final Exam

Eddie Gil is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt and throws it away as well. His pants, socks and watch follow suit. The nurse, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on "Miss, I am only following the instructions, " he says, " it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief'."

Ballerina!

While watching a ballerina tip toeing on stage, Eddie Gil commented- "Ang tanga naman ng direktor! Bakit hindi na lang sya kumuha ng matangkad?!"

In a coffee shop:

Eddie Gil: 1 coffee please
Waiter: Decaf, sir?
Eddie Gil: Of course! Debaso is too big and too much for me!

While in a pizzeria.

Eddie Gil : What are your specialties?
Waiter : Sir, we serve all kinds of pizza.
Eddie Gil : Talaga, bigyan mo nga ako ng Shakey's!

In a science class.

Classmate : Bakit yung helicopter pag umiikot ang elisi, umaangat sa lupa? Bakit yung bentilador kahit umiikot, nasa mesa pa din?
Eddie Gil :Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung bentilador may kurdon, pinipigilan yon!!

There was a mirror that eats liars.

Pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.
Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.
Eddie Gil: I think.. - kinain na.

When you were young:

YOU HAVE THE TIME, YOU HAVE THE ENERGY BUT ....... NO MONEY

At middle age:

YOU HAVE THE MONEY, YOU HAVE THE ENERGY BUT ....... DONT HAVE THE TIME

At later stage in life:

YOU HAVE THE MONEY, YOU HAVE THE TIME BUT ........ HAVE NO ENERGY.

When will life be complete ? ?