Catanduanes Forum

· School : A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

· Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

· Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

· Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

· Divorce : Future tense of Marriage.

· Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

· Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

· Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

· Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

· Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

· Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

· Father : A banker provided by nature.

· Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

· Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

· Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

· Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

· Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.

· Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

· Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

· Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

· Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

· Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

· Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.