Catanduanes Forum

Here is one from Senator Santiago's. An amazing lady, still the best performing (read: bills authored and passed into law) legislator and stateswoman of our times.

She deserves another shot at the Senate.

The Miriam Dictionary (Part 1)
Taken (without express permission) from Sen. Mirriam Defensor Santiago's Facebook Page

In 1991, Movement for Responsible Public Service Youth Organization for Unity, Truth, and Honesty (MOVERS-YOUTH) compiled my witticisms and published the Miriam Defensor Santiago Dictionary.

Here are a few of the things I said over the past decade.

“It is not important to ask, ‘Will the CID Commissioner die a premature death?’ No, the more important question is: ‘Is there sex after death?’”

(To a question during an open forum at an inter-city Rotarian meeting.)

***

“As a doctor of laws, I have researched the question and shall now proceed to share the answer with you. Is there sex after death? Answer: Yes, but you cannot feel anything!”

(To a follow-up question at the same open forum: “Could you please tell us if there is sex after death?”)

***
“Alexander, finish your dinner, or I'll prove to you that God exists!”

(To her son Alexander Robert, when he was six years old, and during her stint as Immigration Commissioner she went home late and found him still at dinner. As a dilatory tactic, he attempted conversation by saying: “Mom, I've lost my faith in God. The problem is that there is no proof.” This was recounted by Archie to a journalist.)

***
“This is goodbye. I shall not importune you any longer. I shall fade into the night like Batman.”

(At her last press conference as Secretary of Agrarian Reform.)

***

“I have no strong desire to remain in government, and I have no personal preference for any government post. But if you insist I prefer to collect garbage in Metro Manila.”

(On repeated questioning by a congressman during a committee hearing on what government post she prefers.)

Miriam Dictionary (part 2 )

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 7:19pm

Ewan ko ba ba’t excited na excited tayo sa Amerika, kawawa naman tayo. Sinong sumulat nito? Dapat sapatusin din to eh. (On a law that requires the Philippines to purchase military equipment from the US only unless there is a mutual agreement between the US and the Philippines allowing the Philippines to purchase from other countries)
***
Poor you, Mr. Dela Paz, you are going to be lonely in your jail cell. You are trying to protect very hard people who should not be protected but should be removed from government. (During the Euro generals’ hearing at the Senate)
***
“Those crooks, those criminals do not blush, do not suffer any shame or embarrassment peddling outright lies. And I thought that this is a Christian country where it's a sin to tell a lie.” (Referring to a media blitz against her.)
***
“I am not afraid of death threats, but I am appalled that so many people are capable of so much wrong spelling and fractured grammar!” (To a question during an open forum at a convention of nurses: “Are you not afraid of death threats?”)
***
“Kung papatayin man nila ako, mumultuhin ko sila!” (To a question during a radio interview.)
***
“I refuse to die at the hands of those intellectual pygmies!” (Of alien criminal syndicates reportedly putting out contracts for her assassination.)
***
“No, I don’t want to watch these clowns. I die a thousand deaths every time a corrupt politician appears.” (Handwritten instructions to an aide who asked if Miriam wanted to watch a TV talk show, while hospitalized for the same accident.)
***
“Miserable little intellectual amoeba!” (Before a joint meeting of Jaycees Clubs, referring to paid members of PR firms carrying out the media blitz against her.)
***
“I will not spend my adult life answering obviously false charges. But I will exert every effort to resist the charge that I lack sex appeal.” (Of the charges filed against her by several CID employees whom she disciplined for graft and corruption.)
***
“Yes, I go to mass everyday. Sometimes I pray that God might turn my enemies into pillars of salt.” (At a speech before nuns.)
***
“Since you apparently refuse to get the point, I would be happy to educate you.” (To a hostile TV talk show panel host.)
***
“I am suffering from battle fatigue. I am catatonic with exhaustion. I can no longer distinguish my husband from the living room furniture!” (Describing how difficult it is to fight graft and corruption.)
***
“This is goodbye. I shall not importune you any longer. I shall fade into the night like Batman.”(At her last press conference as Secretary of Agrarian Reform.)
***
“Head-bashing is the best strategy. Sometimes I have to splatter their brains on the pavement.” (After she was asked for the best way to fight graft.)